Over the last months and even the last year, the Lord has allowed so many "situations" to happen. Situations that cause myself and so many of those I care about on a personal level to be tempted to question God's plans and His goodness. To wonder how Romans 8:28 "and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good" is even a possible reality among cancer and other diseases, death that takes someone precious away from a spouse and children at a young age, a barren woman who longs to see her tummy grow and move with the life of a child, a baby born to a single mother who has no idea how to take care a child, much less herself, those who long so badly to be accepted and loved for who they are, jobs lost and feelings of defeat. I could go on and on with examples of suffering, loneliness, "getting the bad end of the deal" kind of situations that have hit so close to home recently.
In my times of reflection and seeking the Lord over the past few months regarding these things, the word that He has most often brought to mind for me is simply "contentment". I admit that I tend to argue back and forth in my thoughts - "but HOW on earth am I to be content or even pray for contentment in the lives of those suffering these things, Lord?" I'm still praying through this word "contentment" on a regular basis, and as I do, He is faithful. He is faithful in asking me to be content in His provision that "He will supply EVERY need we will ever have according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:19) - reminding me that the process of HOW my needs and the needs of others around me are being met is not up to me - that this process, although He may choose to use me in it, is ultimately up to Him. He is faithful again, through words of Paul in Philippians, of teaching me to "be content in whatever situation I am in" and to pray this for those around me. That we would be just as content in the extremely tough times as we are in the joyful times. We are ALWAYS going to be faced with things we don't like - things that we hate, even - as long as we are alive here on this earth as a result of sin. And because of that, I know that this contentment the Lord is teaching me about is most certainly not something this world can give us, but it can only come through Him, through His Word and His promises, and through the knowledge that He is Sovereign, and that He is good. Ultimately, I am learning to HATE sin all the more in times of hardship instead of questioning God. And hopefully this hatred of sin and seeing the ways in which it plagues each of us, will cause me to proclaim His goodness and the hope that I have in Him all the more. Whew.
On to another topic. I'm excited to say that last semester at school is over and done with! I purposefully took 17 credit hours with the intention of finishing all my core in the hopes that I would be accepted to begin nursing classes this current semester. Good news - I survived and even got all "A's". Bad news - I didn't get excepted to begin nursing classes this semester. At least it was bad news at first. My ranting and raving regarding the fact that I NEEDED and DESERVED to be accepted into the Nursing Program this semester would fall under the above topic of learning to be content. :) I have to admit that while I still find myself somewhat impatient some days of wishing I could just get started with it already so I can get finished, I am finally learning to truly enjoy this time. I started back to school just 6 months after Aaron and I got married. And I totally jumped in with both feet! This didn't allow me the time I would've ideally liked to have had to be a new wife to my new husband. Now, since I'm only taking one class this semester, I am being blessed with the opportunity to simply be a wife to my husband, among other things. I struggled the first couple of weeks with this new "free time" I had - I don't do very well at times with not having a schedule to follow. I stress myself out with the thoughts that I should be getting something done that I'm not, or forgetting to do something that needs to be done. I've been asking the Lord to simply let me "chill out" and rest in the fact that this is where He has me right now and that it's okay. He is assuring me that just because I'm not taking a full load at school this semester or the fact that I don't have a full time job at the moment does not mean that I'm lazy. I can learn to enjoy my days when I let those lies leave my mind. I am so enjoying planning out our meals and having dinner ready when Aaron gets home from work, finding and trying new recipes that fit our budget, clipping coupons and learning how to serve the Lord better through our finances, not being busy with my school work every night and to being able to spend time with Aaron in the evenings with less distraction. I'm learning to take advantage of the time to catch up with those I need to, to cultivate new relationships, to spend more time in the Word, to get back on track with exercising, to make myself available to help out wherever I'm needed, etc. Anything but lazy! It's fun and I'm so appreciating these opportunities! If all goes well, I will hopefully start nursing school in August, so I'm definitely treasuring every moment of this right now!
I'll leave you with a thought that I honestly wish would leave me be, but one that I am nonetheless being forced to work through, thanks to my husband bringing it up last night and through the conviction of the Holy Spirit! Aaron and I, along with much of our faith family, are reading through a book called "Radical" by David Platt. (highly recommend it if you haven't read it) "Radical" is a book that focuses on taking a look at what God's Word truly says - not what we want it to say or what we have created it to say in our own minds throughout the years. A book that has aided in our conviction to truly live out the Gospel, not just talk about it. There is a homeless shelter here in town that our church has committed to working with each week. This is a place where homeless men, women and children come in and are given a place to sleep and eat - however, because the needs around town are so great, these people are rotated out, so to speak. They come to the shelter and if they can prove that they are trying to find a job, etc., are allowed to live there 2 weeks, and are then "rotated out" so that others who are homeless can have that same opportunity. Aaron was telling me last night that he and our Pastor were talking earlier this week regarding this. A question that our Pastor asked Aaron was this, "At what point do we just bring them home with us?" Wow. WOW. Aaron and I have talked before about this - what are we doing with that guest bedroom right down the hall from our bedroom other than letting the bed collect dust on it when there is someone, very nearby to us, sleeping outside in the cold on the ground? What does being obedient to God's Word in taking care of the poor and needy really look like? "At what point do we just bring them home with us?"
1 comment:
This is such a great post! Thanks for sharing :) I was snagged by Pastor David and Aaron's conversation. Lately, I have been asking the EXACT same thing. It's like we think we are going TOO far by truly caring for them. It's a crazy thing to think about. I'm glad I am not alone! Love you!
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